BADMINTON SPECIALS FROM THE FAMOUS

Lisa Tarbuck - "she's pretty nifty around court"

So as I was saying I’m down at the local sports centre playing badminton with my friend Lisa; Lisa Tarbuck. Anyway we’re having a close match cos she’s pretty nifty around court and who should walk in looking for a game but Sting and his wife Trudie Styler. So we agree to play doubles, best of 3, sets to 11. So cutting to the chase it’s one – all and they’re trouncing us in the final set 10 – 1. So I have this plan. Lisa’s serving and Sting is close up to the net so I move in and start singing ‘I can’t I can’t I can’t stand losing. I can’t I can’t I can’t stand losing. I can’t I can’t I can’t stand losing to yoouu. I can’t stand losing to yooouuu. I can’t stand losing to yooouuu’
Guess what? Sting just went to pieces. Everything into the net. Lisa kept her serve and we won 12 – 10. Trudie was livid he'd lost them the match and he refused to shake hands with me. The pair of them just sat in the bar after not talking to anyone and staring into space. I said to Lisa "You know that Sting, he’s such a bad loser" She agreed. I also said "Do you think Sting ran out of steam because of all that tantric sex." Lisa didn't half look embarrassed.

"You know that Sting, he's such a bad loser". Lisa agreed.

But that’s nothing. Wait til you hear what happened when I played Adam Ant! I'll keep that for another time! bs