So if you can picture it, there I am waiting for my singles partner, the 'Man from Atlantis' himself, Patrick Duffy, to turn up for our match when who should be on the adjacent court but Duran Duran, well only four anyway. John Taylor was no badminton player so he stayed in that night watching telly. But it was just as well there were only four because they truly were a bunch of wild boys who were quite noisy and were putting off several players' games while they were waiting for their court.

The wild boys were playing on their way back from the fire.

I remember seeing Phil Oakey who was in the Human League miss many a 'clear' because they were putting him off his game. I approached Phil and asked him if he wanted me to have a word but he said that he didn't want to make a fuss and that they were only human, of flesh and blood they're made: so I left it at that.
It was getting periously close to match time when I received a call through reception that Patrick had missed his flight and wouldn't be able to play. I was gutted - I had warmed up and everything. There's nothing worse than seeing everyone else enjoying themselves playing some really good badminton and there I was sitting on the sidelines with my racquet and cock between my legs. I decided to watch the Durans thrashing about. They really were wild boys yet had a raw talent about them. Then all of a sudden Simon Le Bon went for a shot and he clattered his doubles partner, Nick Rhodes, in the back of the head. Oops that's trouble I thought as blood poured out. I rushed over and couldn't tell which was blood or hair dye. It was a particularly nasty cut and I promptly rushed Nick to the first aid room where I left him in the capable hands of Bertha. When I returned the boys had mopped the blood off the court and were ready to play again. They were so grateful that they asked me if I wanted to play. I jumped at the chance. We played three intense sets. Such was the intensity of the match that players on the other courts stopped their games and watched our match - they were mesmerised! Simon Le Bon was playing out of his skin. During a drink break he said he'd never played better and that I was getting the best out of him.That was a really nice thing to say I thought. Back on court we both were playing out of our skins. How Simon got to one shot I'll never know. I said 'how did you get that back' and he said "Ju, ju, just a reflex, a reflex!" We won. But what was particularly nice was the crowd of keen onlookers chanting 'Wild Boys, Wild Boys' and I was one of them, on our way back to the bar.
Nick was ok and didn't need stitches and Simon started to rib him about how he was going to drop him as a partner. Nick didn't like it one bit. I said it was ok because I was crap at writing songs so I could never take his place in the line-up. We all had a good laugh over it. Just as I was about to leave this goddess appeared by the door - it was Yasmin Le Bon. She was beauty and elegance personified until she shouted "Oi Simon where the f*ck ave you been. I've been sitting out in the car wiv the kids for over an hour waiting for you. One of ems puked up and the uvvers spilt milk and it stinks. Get ur arse out ere now you nancy boy." My image was shattered there and then.

An embarrased looking Simon scuttles off to the car with one annoyed Yasmin.

As Simon grabbed his kit bag from under the table and sped for the door I turned to the boys and said "Shall we say a prayer for him now or wait until the morning after." He'll need much more than that" said Nick, "Wait til she gets him home."

Other Blogs:

www.teachingandallthat.blog.co.uk
www.perchingandallthat.blog.co.uk